Big Changes and Little Changes

This week brought some changes in our Locomoting Infant Class. 

Most of the children in this class have been with us since they were between 2 and 4 months old. The class format at that age and stage is a little looser and parents can nurse and feed their infants as needed inside the play space. The children have come to expect and find comfort in this rhythm and in seeing the same group of parents and children each week.

Even small changes to expected rhythms can feel like big changes and this week we saw and felt that in real time. 

Last week, we welcomed a new family and it pushed forward the discussion of shifting feeding to happen outside the play space. We as adults made the decision to move forward with this change starting this week and the children understandably had some big feelings about it.

It left us wanting to discuss some really important questions :

How do we hold in our minds that some small changes and transitions can feel like big ones for our children and vice versa? 

How do we prepare children for transitions?

How do we prepare ourselves for transitions?

How do we welcome feelings about transitions?

How do we hold a limit when we encounter strong feelings to transitions?

1. How do we hold in our minds that some small changes / transitions can feel like big ones for our children and vice versa? 

It helps to remember that your child is a unique individual with their very own likes, dislikes and preferences. Something that seems really small and insignificant to me may feel fundamentally different to you. 

We’re all sensitive to shifts in the core rhythms of our day - especially eating and sleeping - but children feel them most of all because they’re the anchors of their day. They find security and comfort in knowing when they’ll be fed and what comes next.

2. How do we prepare ourselves and our children for transitions in daily or weekly rhythm?

Start with thinking through what’s going to happen, where you want to go or what you’re hoping to do and plan backwards from there. 

Keep your child’s current rhythm in mind…

How are you doing things right now? 

What will change? 

What will stay the same?

Be sensitive to adjustments in time, environment, caregivers, and people present.

Next…

What are the smallest steps you can take toward this change and in what order? 

How can you clearly and concisely communicate to your child what will change?

Are there ways to walk through what this change will look and feel like before it happens?

3. How do we welcome feelings about transitions?

Equally important is preparing yourself for the reality that your child may need time to adjust to changes big or small. They may not like them at all at first - and that’s ok. It’s neither good nor bad. It simply is. 

Being prepared for and holding space for your child’s feelings (and your own) builds trust, safety and security within your relationship. 

4. How do we hold a limit when we encounter strong feelings to transitions?

This requires doing our own work too. 

Are you clear on the “Why?” behind this change or transition? 

Being clear on the our “Why?” helps us to hold boundaries from a more neutral and less emotionally charged place. 

In the case of our Locomoting Infant Class, our “Why?” is tied to a few values :

a. The children are now at a developmental stage where they move all around the play space. The focus of our play space, particularly as the children grew, is on play allowing for deep engagement with their environment ad the equipment, play objects and people in it. 

b. Offering a separate space for feeding keeps the focus within the play space on play. It also allows for less distractions for the children when they are stepping away with their caregivers to nurse, drink or eat.

c. Less mess inside the play space. That’s a simple straightforward one!

Transitions are inevitable parts of life. Slow and Steady is the goal even and especially as you move through them.