Caring for the Caregiver
Genuine self-care is a vital and essential practice for everyone – however, for those who take on the role of caring for others, whether as a professional or parent, this concept takes on even greater meaning.
Caring for an infant or toddler can be emotionally and physically exhausting at times. As adults, it’s necessary we learn to provide ourselves with the same care, compassion, and respect that we provide to the children. Genuine self-care involves using observation as a method towards developing greater understanding and awareness. It can become a way to address your emotional and physical needs, cultivate a greater sense of self, and encourage a culture that values the well-being of every individual in the community.
Self-Awareness: Just as you ensure your child’s needs are met, take care of your own needs. Listen to your organism, and whenever possible, attend to your biological needs right away. Don’t ignore the feeling when you’re thirty, worn-out, or need to use the toilet. Of course, it can be easier said than done, but getting enough rest, eating nourishing foods, and engaging in activities you enjoy are biological needs that must be honored. Strive to develop a deeper understanding of both your physical and emotional needs. Regularly check in with yourself to identify how you are feeling and what you need at any given moment. Establish clear boundaries to protect your well-being. This may involve saying no to requests or situations that compromise your values.
Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with acceptance and understanding. Rather than using self-criticism and negative self-talk, acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Recognize that it is human to have limitations. Practice developing an inner dialogue with yourself based on the same principles you use to talk with a young child. Offer yourself the same belief that you, at this moment in your development, are also an individual who deserves unconditional care, love, and understanding.
Inner Comfort: Provide yourself with comfort and reassurance. Develop techniques – such as deep breathing, meditation, taking a bath, or listening to music to comfort and soothe yourself during a difficult moment. Consider which activities bring you joy and find ways to incorporate them into daily life. Treat yourself with the same patience and understanding that you would offer to a child learning and growing. Natural development (of any kind!) is a continuing process that requires time and practice.
Remember that genuine self-care is essential for your well-being and ability to provide empathetic care to others. By prioritizing self-care and seeking support when needed, you are modeling for your children that care is a universal need that should be both given and received.